


Unprofessional Analysis

by Thankyouliebe



Category: Rick and Morty
Genre: M/M, Oral Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-08
Updated: 2019-02-08
Packaged: 2019-10-24 15:50:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,266
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17707166
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thankyouliebe/pseuds/Thankyouliebe
Summary: Scaly Morty gets dropped off at the Healing Center for itchy symptoms. Surgeon Rick's never been so close to a reptilian Morty before. Bow chika wow wow!





	Unprofessional Analysis

**Author's Note:**

  * For [isthis0rganic](https://archiveofourown.org/users/isthis0rganic/gifts).



> for the lovely IsThisOrganic. Late posting, but this was for the RNM Secret Santa! First draft written by BennetwithaB and edited by yours truly. Enjoy <3

Surgeon Rick was losing his patience. “Look pal,” he said while he leaned his elbow on the counter.  _ “This _ service is free.” He motioned up at the banner overhead that designated his kiosk as the official healing center in the Pocket Mortys Plaza.  _ “My _ services are not.” 

The trainer Rick gave him a look that said his patience was running thin as well. “But you’ll do it, right?” Rick pinched the bridge of his nose with a long sigh. He was tired of dealing with idiots all day.

“Yeah, fine, whatever. Just give him here.” The Rick turned and shoved a Scaly Morty towards the counter, and immediately Rick could tell that something was wrong with him. Of course, there were immediate signs, easy tells. But like he said, he didn’t do extra work for free. “Two-thousand.” He said while his eyes were fixed on the Morty.

“What?!” The Rick put his hand on his Morty’s shoulder. “I could go to a  _ Morty _ doctor for five-hundred!”

“This isn’t a clinic!” Rick snapped. “Do you want me to take a look at him or not?” He held out his hand and motioned for payment, pushing for the Rick to make up his mind.

“God, fine, fine, fuck it, whatever!” The trainer Rick dug into his pockets and dismissively began to toss piles of schmeckles into Surgeon Rick’s hands, and after a minute, Surgeon counted out 2000 schmeckles before the trainer stormed off in a huff and left his Morty at the counter. Rick stuffed the pile of schmeckles into one of his apron pockets before unlatching the door to the kiosk to invite the Morty inside.

Hundreds of trainers came up to him every day requesting him to heal their Mortys, but it was usually as simple as pressing a button. He’d only had to examine a sick Morty a couple of times before, and never a Scaly Morty. He led the Morty back to the only examination room in the tiny building. It had faded, pale blue walls and a sparsely equipped counter with a small examination table placed in the corner that left much to be desired. Surgeon Rick gestured for the Morty to hop onto the table and crossed his arms.

“So, what seems to be the problem?” 

Scaly Morty scratched the back of his neck. He had been itching a lot lately and wasn’t really sure how to deal with it. “W-well, I’ve been really itchy for the last couple weeks.”

“Uh-huh.” Surgeon Rick rolled his eyes. Mortys were always sweating and being gross teenage boys, so being itchy wasn’t that big of a deal. Of course, this Morty  _ was _ a lizard of some kind. Was it possible for him to sweat? “When did it start?”

“Uh…” He tried to think back to a couple weeks ago when he first noticed his clothes being uncomfortable to wear. Or maybe a bit before that when the skin on his arms started peeling off. “About two…three weeks ago?” The memory made him subconsciously scratch at his arms. The skin there beginning to flake off from the friction.

Surgeon Rick watched him with little interest. It wasn’t hard to figure out what was going on, but at this point, he was more curious about the  _ kind _ of Morty his current patient was. He had never gotten a chance to study a Scaly Morty, and if he was getting paid for this, he might as well take his time and be thorough. 

“Where else is it?” He asked while he leaned against the corner of the examination table. Scaly Morty seemed thrown off by his question. Surgeon Rick pointed down at the kid’s arms and he stopped scratching, embarrassed to be caught in the act. 

“Um…everywhere.” Scaly Morty stammered, unsure of how exactly to answer. He knew Surgeon Rick was supposed to be a doctor, but every Morty had their suspicions. “My arms and my back...and even my face, too. I’m just itchy everywhere all the time!” He threw his arms up in the air, frustrated mostly with the fact that it took his Rick so long to actually bring him to a doctor, and a shady one at that.

Surgeon Rick rolled his eyes as Scaly Morty had his little tantrum, though he’d probably act the same way if his own skin was trying to detach itself for three weeks straight. “Right, okay,” He started, pulling down the edge of his rubber gloves. “I’m going to need you to take off your clothes.”

If lizards could go pale, Scaly Morty would’ve done it. He wasn’t used to anyone seeing him in such context since the experiment, and he still wasn’t entirely convinced that the Rick in front of him was a real doctor. “W-why do you—”

“Jesus Christ.” Surgeon Rick pinched the bridge of his nose. He knew some Mortys were scared of the machines he used to heal them, but the kid’s nervousness was ridiculous. “Relax, kid. It’s just an exam. It could be a rash or something. I need to look you over and make sure it’s not contagious.” As much as he hated lying to a Morty, he was doing for science, so it all works out in the end.

Scaly Morty seemed satisfied with his answer and, after a few seconds of hesitation, began to strip down to his boxers. He didn’t know what to do with his clothes, so he just dropped them on the floor beside the examination table. 

Surgeon Rick didn’t know what to think of the Morty who sat in front of him. The kid’s body seamlessly presented the impossible bond of a cold-blooded creature with the proportions, expressions and shape of a human. From the ridged scales that lined Morty’s eyes, Rick considered that the boy was crossed with a crested gecko, or perhaps a chameleon. Rick’s eyes rested on the oddity of a collarbone lining his rough scales, and he hummed thoughtfully. Other than pieces of skin flaking off, there was nothing out of place. No random spots of human skin, no hair…no nipples.  _ Huh _ . It was pretty seamless, especially if  _ itchy skin  _ was the worst of Scaly Morty’s problems, so he had to give credit to whichever Rick had completed such an experiment, provided he was even alive. The poor kid  _ was _ a pocket Morty, after all. 

Scaly Morty felt vulnerable under Surgeon Rick’s gaze and was overwhelmed with the thought of his temporary doctor picking him apart. His nerves were so tightly strung that his arms stiffly grasped the table with tightness that made his hands feel numb.He stared down at the floor as he felt Surgeon Rick’s gaze scan his body and he focused on Rick’s feet circling around him while trying not to shrink into himself and disappear. Morty jumped slightly when he felt a hand on his back. Fingers pressed over the ridges of his spine and played with the difference in hardness. When Surgeon Rick was satisfied, he moved his observation from Scaly Morty’s back to the ridges on his head and gloved hands used the same careful touch. His fingers dragged over them for only a minute or so and the gentle movements helped Scaly Morty relax.

Surgeon Rick grabbed one of his hands and examined it closely. The first thing he noted was that Scaly Morty’s nails weren’t as thick as he had hoped. It would’ve been more useful if they were like claws instead of slightly thicker fingernails, though he wondered if they could grow to a point.

The second thing Surgeon Rick noted was that the palm of Morty’s hands were also covered in scales, and he immediately thought of two things: One, that scene in Spider-Man with Tobey Maguire where he’s in the school cafeteria and the fork sticks to his hand, and two, the absolutely fucked up image of Spider-Man (and Scaly Morty) masturbating and his hand getting stuck to his dick. How fucked up would that be?

That did bring one thing to Surgeon Rick’s attention, though. He was curious about just how far this fusion went. Did Scaly Morty even have a dick? Was it a human dick? Satisfied with his observations so far, he pulled away from the table, leaning back and looking Scaly Morty over. He won’t lie, he was mostly interested in one area in particular. His thoughts wandered to the possibilities that could be pressed in the name of scientific discovery, and other than the obvious porno route that easily presented itself between the two, Surgeon Rick debated the satisfying results of a vivisection. It would reveal so much in what the other Rick had managed to complete that Surgeon couldn’t  _ dream _ of, and with a bit of anesthesia, he may even get a bit of satisfaction out of an unconscious patiient.  _ However... _

“Okay, take ‘em off.” Surgeon Rick gestured to Scaly Morty’s boxers, breaking the silence in the room. 

It took Scaly Morty a second to register the command. the abrupt nature threw him for a loop. He stared up at Surgeon Rick and tried to come up with some kind of response. Rick rolled his eyes and reached out to grab ahold of Scaly Morty’s boxers and pulled them down with the excuse, “You said it was everywhere, kid. I gotta check  _ everywhere.  _ What, you embarrassed to whip out your little _ —” _

Rick managed to get the boxers halfway down Scaly Morty’s thighs before he stopped in his tracks, caught off guard by what he saw. Or rather, what he  _ didn’t  _ see. Scaly Morty’s crotch was entirely smooth and covered in scales just like the rest of him. 

Something about losing that final layer of clothing made Scaly Morty’s heartbeat thrum in his chest and a lump tighten in his throat. Surgeon Rick looked at him with that same kind of curiosity, but somehow it was worse than before. It was more humiliating to be observed under such scrutiny and no protection from his exposed body. He squirmed under Surgeon Rick’s hungry gaze, squeezing his legs together and putting his hands in his lap to cover himself, even if there wasn’t much to cover anymore. 

When Scaly Morty covered himself, Surgeon Rick snapped out of his thoughts. He pulled the boxers the rest of the way down and discarded them with the rest of the clothes and turned his full attention to the boy. He grabbed Scaly Morty’s wrists and pried his hands away, pinning them to the table at his sides so he could get a good look. Scaly Morty wasn’t  _ entirely _ smooth; there were two lumps above his inner thighs and Surgeon Rick wasn’t entirely sure what they were. He let go of Scaly Morty’s wrists and placed his hands on top of his thighs, lightly rubbing his fingers down them, careful not to irritate any of the loose skin. 

The gentle touches helped Scaly Morty feel a bit more at ease. After all, it was just a medical exam, he didn’t really have anything to be embarrassed about, right? Surgeon Rick probably does stuff like this all the time. As much as he wanted to cover himself, he knew it would just make things harder in the end, so he allowed Surgeon Rick to pry his legs apart and he obediently kept his hands by his sides. Morty wasn’t sure if he could blush anymore, but that didn’t stop him from feeling embarrassed.

Surgeon Rick moved his hands to Scaly Morty’s hips and rubbed his thumbs over the lumps above his groin. They were softer than he thought they’d be, unlike the decorative ridges that adorned the rest of him. Scaly Morty winced at the contact and squeaked quietly at the touch. He shivered while he squirmed slightly away from the invasive examination of the Rick above him. In response, Surgeon Rick paused and hovered his palm over the boy’s scales. Rick waited for his unexpected patient to no longer protest before he continued at a slower pace. Morty focused on the movement of his hands, distracted and unaware of the look at his face. There was something about the way those gentle hands touched him that made him forget about being completely exposed. He felt less like a lab specimen and more like someone worth caring for. 

Surgeon Rick moved his hands lower, rubbing a careful path along Scaly Morty’s skin. The light contact caused the Morty to shudder and let out a breath, but he made no objections. Rick took that as a sign to continue and moved his hands to Scaly Morty’s thighs to spread his legs even further. There really wasn’t much to see down there, except…

_ Well, that’s interesting.  _ Surgeon Rick kept one of his hands on Scaly Morty’s inner thigh while the other one moved to palm at his crotch. He heard Scaly Morty’s breath hitch and felt the muscles in his thigh tense as he rubbed against the pink heads that were starting to emerge from a slit in his scales. With each stroke, Surgeon Rick coaxed the organs out a little at a time until he could see the head in its entirety. They were pink and soft, almost delicate-looking unlike the rest of him, but that was to be expected with internal sex organs. The only similarity to Morty’s scaled exterior was the ring of tiny spikes around the base of the head. Surgeon Rick paused for a second and considered the possible ramifications of his actions, before he removed one of his gloves and tested the spikes with his bare fingers.

The cold air on his exposed heads gave Scaly Morty goosebumps, or it would’ve if he could get those anymore. But Surgeon Rick’s fingers seemed to radiate warmth, and he hummed as that feeling washed over him. Surgeon Rick pressed against the spikes and found them somewhat flexible, and the action caused Scaly Morty’s hips to jerk forward and involuntarily thrust into Surgeon Rick’s hand. The gloved hand on his thigh moved up to his hip to hold him steady as the other hand wrapped around the exposed section of his hemipenes. The rough skin of his hands felt wonderful, a welcome change from the scales he had grown accustomed to, and Morty whined from the sensation. With his hands obediently at his sides, Scaly Morty gripped the edge of the metal table beneath him hard enough to turn his knuckles white. He wasn’t sure if Surgeon Rick would let him touch him, or even touch himself for that matter, but he needed to do  _ something. _ Sitting in place and allowing himself be played with was absolute agony.

The sweet whimpers that tumbled out of Scaly Morty’s mouth made it difficult to keep this examination purely scientific, and Surgeon Rick had to fight off the thoughts that went straight to his dick. He didn’t fight very hard, though; he could already feel his own erection grow underneath his gown at the thought of laying Scaly Morty out on the table and fucking him. For science, of course. Anatomical study and all that nonsense he’d tell the Council.  _ If _ he got caught.

He let go of Scaly Morty’s hip and pulled his apron and gown up to pull his dick over the waistband of his underwear. Scaly Morty hardly got a chance to look at it before Surgeon Rick pulled him to the very edge of the table and pressed their dicks together to stroke all three of them in one long movement. 

“R-Rick…” The warmth and the friction nearly made Scaly Morty choke as he openly moaned. His shoulders began to tremble from the effort it took to keep his hands on the table and obey Surgeon Rick’s wordless command. Rick continued his strokes, hand running over the spikes at the base of Scaly Morty’s heads and then pushing them against his own cock. The attentive movement sent electric shocks up his spine and each stroke was long and slow, a feeling that both privately savored. Precum leaked from their tips and slicked Surgeon Rick’s large palm. With each stroke, he spread that slick over their cocks, careful to swipe his thumb over each slit and collect as much wetness he could. Morty abandoned the unspoken command from earlier and reached both of his hands forward to grasp something,  _ anything _ to occupy his busy mind with another sensation and keep himself quiet. His small hands grasped Surgeon Rick’s forearms, not as a command to cease the delightful contact, but rather encourage his movements and rock his hips gently against Rick’s cock.

Scaly Morty was disappointed when the friction went away, but that disappointment was immediately replaced with a fiery  _ need _ when Surgeon Rick began to thrust The length of his dick pressed between Morty’s sensitive cocks and when Morty glanced down, he  _ whined _ at the difference in size. Rick’s cock was a heavy, satisfying weight against the delicate organs of Scaly Morty’s own, and-

A sharp knock on the door interrupted them and Surgeon Rick stilled his hips. His hand, however, continued to stroke their cocks together and Scaly Morty held a hand over his mouth as Rick looked over his shoulder and grumbled, “What?”

Nurse Morty cracked the door and peered in. Scaly Morty hid his face behind Surgeon Rick’s frame, too embarrassed to be caught doing something so shameful in public, but Nurse Morty didn’t say anything about him, or about Surgeon Rick hunched over the examination table with his arm working back and forth. “Th-there’s someone here with a Giant Head Morty and I don’t know where to put the sensors.” 

“I’m busy. Figure it out.”

“I know, but—”

Surgeon Rick sighed and stood up straight to tuck his erection back into his underwear. He grabbed his rubber glove from where he had discarded it on the table and put it back on, not bothering to wash his hands. He’ll be back soon anyway. Better get whatever the fuck was up  _ over  _ with instead of having another trainer with a dead Morty on his hands. 

He stormed out of the room and pushed past Nurse Morty to leave both Mortys alone. Without any cover to hide behind, Scaly Morty was sure he would die of shame. He wrapped his tail around his waist and put his hands in his lap and tried his best to hide his erections successfully.It didn’t work as well as he’d hoped, though. The silence between the Mortys only lasted a moment before Nurse Morty scanned his face, his position and then bounced over to the table with an excited grin permanently fixed to his face. 

“Need some help?” The interrupting Morty chimed.

For a moment, Scaly Morty wasn’t sure what he was talking about. He sounded so enthusiastic and cheerful that Scaly Morty almost forgot he was sitting there with his dicks out. Meanwhile Nurse Morty’s voice had the light and unassuming tone of someone asking if he needed help with an arts and crafts project.

“Um…no, I’m good—"

A curious hand on one of his heads made him jump, and he looked down to see Nurse Morty probing gently at his cock.

“U-um!” Scaly Morty’s voice cracked as he squirmed, but he made no movement to resist the nurse’s intrigue.

“‘U-um’?” Nurse Morty hummed. The smile on his face shifted to a flirtatious smirk as he bent down and looked up at Scaly Morty with wide-eyed interest. “You sure you’re ‘good’?”

Being so close, Scaly Morty wasn’t able to hide his want as well as he’d hoped, and Nurse Morty was fascinated, fingers rubbing over whatever he could reach. The mischievous look of awe and wonder vividly contrasted  Surgeon Rick’s cold analytical stare, and it made him all the more embarrassed. His embarrassment quickly turned to shock, however, when Nurse Morty leaned down and gave the head he had been rubbing an experimental lick. Scaly Morty was sure he would’ve been turned bright red if not for the scales. Or maybe if he was a chameleon.

Satisfied with the taste, Nurse Morty pulled back and offered Scaly Morty a reassuring smile before placing both of his hands on his tail to move it aside and reveal him. Nurse Morty bent over his lap and lifted one of the spiked heads to his lips, his wet tongue dragging over the tip. Scaly Morty had to make a conscious effort to keep himself quiet, since Surgeon Rick had left the door open when he stormed out, but when Nurse Morty took off his glove and grabbed hold of his second shaft, he couldn’t stop the moan that escaped from the back of his throat.

“O-Oh my god, oh my god, Holy shit- h-holy-”

Nurse Morty sank down onto Scaly Morty’s cock and took what he could into his mouth before he pulled back and pressed his tongue along the underside. His hand mirrored the movement and took the chance to rub over the sensitive head before it slid back down the shaft. Scaly Morty slapped a hand over his mouth to stop himself from being any louder, but the wet heat of Nurse Morty’s mouth made it difficult. It was like Nurse Morty  _ wanted _ Surgeon Rick to hear them. 

Nurse Morty pulled his mouth off of Scaly Morty and stood up to offer another reassuring smile. His eyes were half-lidded, hazy with lust, and he slowed his movements as he took the now freed dick in his other hand to stroke them both. The new pace was almost teasingly slow, and Scaly Morty felt like he was going to lose his mind until he heard footsteps come from down the hall. 

When Surgeon Rick came back into the room, his eyes fixed, who looked confident and innocent all at once while he leaned over the counter with a mouth full of cock, and Rick’s only response was an eye roll as he closed the door behind him. He pressed himself against Nurse Morty’s back and placed his hands on Morty’s hips to grind against him. Surgeon Rick moved one of his hands to palm at Nurse Morty’s crotch, and the boy let out a high-pitched, breathy moan, easily responding with hunger and want as he pressed back against Surgeon Rick’s returning erection. They moved together in time with the new pace Rick had set, their hips rolling together until all three of them were panting out soft moans. 

It wasn’t long before Scaly Morty felt himself nearing the edge, overwhelmed by all the attention he had received. Nurse Morty’s hands on him felt way better than anything he could do himself, and his breath came out in shaky gasps as he tried to keep himself together. He knew he wouldn’t last much longer as Nurse Morty’s skilled motions worked him over, his palms pumping his shafts and sliding over the head of his cocks. 

After a few more strokes, Scaly Morty came with a breathless moan and spilt cum from both of his cocks. He shivered and whimpered as he collapsed against Nurse Morty’s shoulder. With a satisfied him, Nurse Morty wiped his hands on his apron and then returned them to Scaly Morty’s thighs while his fascinating, delightful patient came down from his orgasm. Surgeon Rick continued to palm Nurse Morty’s erection through his uniform, and by the time Scaly Morty came back down to earth, he was just in time to see Nurse Morty come undone as Rick gave him one last hard squeeze. 

The two Mortys sat there for a few moments, collecting their breath, before Surgeon Rick abruptly turned to the door and said, “Alright, time’s up.” Nurse Morty straightened up and dusted himself off when he heard Surgeon Rick’s serious tone, but Scaly Morty just gave them both a blank look. When the silence persisted, Surgeon Rick sighed and waved his hands dismissively. “Look, kid, your trainer just booked a regular appointment. That means you have to leave.” 

“O-Oh.” Scaly Morty felt a little stupid for forgetting what he was originally here for, and he was pretty grateful that Surgeon Rick hadn’t looked at him at the moment. That cold and analytical stare would’ve made him a lot more embarrassed. He jumped down off of the examination table and grabbed his clothes off of the floor. Once he put his clothes back on, the itching started up again, and he couldn’t resist the urge to scratch at his scales. “Do you at least know what’s wrong with me?”

Surgeon Rick opened the door and began walking back towards the front of the Healing Center kiosk. Nurse Morty ushered Scaly Morty out of the room, and the two of them followed Rick through the cramped hallways. “You’re shedding, dumbass.” He growled the words without bothering to see if Scaly Morty was actually behind him. “Just take a few baths and eat a healthy diet. You’ll be fine.” 

When they reached the front desk, Scaly Morty’s trainer was already waiting, impatient as ever. Nurse Morty escorted Scaly Morty out of the kiosk while Surgeon Rick dealt with the trainer. After everything was taken care of and the trainer Rick had stormed off, Surgeon Rick sighed one last time and put his head in his hands. “It’s a never ending headache around here.”

“Aw, Rick, you’re just mad ‘cause you missed out this time, aren’t you?” Nurse Morty piped up. He cheerfully smiled, satisfied that he was able to ‘observe’ the interesting specimen in full while his gaze fixed on Rick’s wilting erection under his uniform. 

“Jackass.”

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> kinkshame me on twitter @liebeleicht lmao


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